The next six years will see no less than 40 superhero films hit the big screen. Some are totally expected like a Wonder Woman film, Justice League films, and Avengers sequels but others are more obscure like Doctor Strange, Captain Marvel, and the Flash. I say the Flash because it’s weird he’s getting a movie when he already has a successful TV show.
Movie stars!
Some of the films that have come out in recent years have been crazy awesome but some have been ridiculously bad. The strange thing about the films being bad is that, on paper, the films sounded really good. I mean, more so than money, there is a reason that these films were greenlit in the first place. Be it crazy editing, studio interference, bad acting or bad direction these films just weren’t on par with what we’ve come to expect from comic book movies. Or maybe the Dark Knight just ruined it for everyone by being too good. Anyway, here are the 6 TERRIBLE COMIC BOOK MOVIES WITH GREAT PLOTS:
PUNISHER: WAR ZONE:
I’ve mentioned before how the Punisher is a tricky character. On the one hand, he has a good origin and is an interesting character. On the other hand, he’s a tough sell because he just kills all the bad guys he fights. It doesn’t make for compelling drama or even a hero that we can really root for. However, Punisher: War Zone had an interesting idea. It starts off with Punisher crashing some rich bad guy’s party and killing everyone there. Then he follows the survivors to some factory and kills the rest of them. What he doesn’t know is that one of the guys there is an undercover FBI agent. Frank kills him without a second thought and realizes his mistake later. He tries to make amends with his wife but she yells at him and says, “Who punishes you?” That aspect of the film was wonderful and gave some great character work for Frank. SO WHAT HAPPENED? What happened is what I call “Schumacher Syndrome.” The producers and director were making a “comic book” movie and decided to treat it as a comic book. They made the action over the top and the acting was pretty campy. When Schumacher made his Batman films he saw them as comic books and decided to make them bright, in your face, and campy. A lot of really bad films can be attributed to the filmmakers and actors simply not giving a shit, and this film was clearly that. Excellent idea for a film, but executed very poorly. And let’s face it, it’s gonna be a while before anyone touches the Punisher franchise again. But now that Marvel has the rights again, maybe they’ll make that Netflix series I’ve been gunning for (psst Marvel! Hire me to write! I’ve got great ideas!)
GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGENANCE:
I could just say, “Nicolas Cage” and leave it at that. I might just do that actually . . .
CAUSE I'M CASTER TROY!
Ghost Rider is another tricky character. On the one hand, it’s a great visual. Dude’s got a flaming skull for a head and rides a motorcycle. That’s pretty cool. On the other hand when such a great visual is involved often times there is not much thought put into his characterization. Ghost Rider 2 was ill advised from the get-go but the main issue that I have is the over the top-ness involved with Cage’s performance. The idea is that Johnny Blaze has gone into hiding to avoid becoming the Rider because he’s afraid of hurting people. He’s called into action by Idris Elba because the devil is looking for his son and the Rider is the only one that can protect him. It’s an interesting concept and the movie deals with Blaze learning that the Rider was once an angel that fell from grace and became a demon. That’s actually some pretty deep stuff for a movie about a dude with a flaming skull for a head. The film is a loose sequel to the first Ghost Rider movie (but that film had a bad plot so it’s not on this list). SO WHAT HAPPENED? Well, I have to go back and say Nicolas Cage. He’s an Academy Award winning actor and when I was a kid he starred in 3 of the best action movies ever made, The Rock, Con Air, and Face/Off. However, somewhere between National Treasure and the Wicker Man, Cage started to go a little bonkers with his acting. I wouldn’t call his performance campy (because that would be putting it mildly) a new word would likely have to be developed to describe his acting style. But also, the film is not put together very well. I get Johnny Blaze hiding to keep the Ghost Rider at bay, but I don’t get how the devil could give him his powers and then not have the power to take it away. Maybe it was explained and I just forgot about it, but it seems like an important plot point. Either way, the idea of a fallen angel is pretty cool and would pave the way for making Ghost Rider a hero instead of a soul stealing monster. That was what they were going for with the film but it got glossed over by . . . him . . . .
X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE:
I don’t think I have enough time to describe what I don’t like about this movie. It’s frustrating on several levels, not the least of which being that Hugh Jackman is actually great in it, but the rest of the movie didn’t care at all. However, the concept is perfectly fine. It’s the origin of Wolverine. It had been hinted at in the first two X-Men films and had enough legs to kickstart a new trilogy of solo Wolverine films. The basic plot is that Logan has joined a black ops team that consists of different mutants and they do crazy missions for the government. When things start getting rough, Logan quits and settles down with a lovely woman. However, he’s called back to action when his former teammates start turning up dead. Logan agrees to help after his girlfriend is killed but later learns that there is a larger conspiracy going on. Despite the movie being absolutely awful, this plot is perfectly fine. SO WHAT HAPPENED? Well . . . Chalk it up to last minute script rewrites, poor performances, too many mutants, shoehorned cameos from soon-to-be X-Men, and a final battle with Deadpool that didn’t make any sense (let alone all the Sabretooth crap), I mean the list goes on. Simply put, this was supposed to be a solo Wolverine film and instead just about every X-character that didn’t get a chance to appear in the previous three films would get their shot here. In my opinion, this is what made The Wolverine a superior film. It had very few mutants, mostly focusing on Logan’s journey. Origins tried so hard to be an X-Men film without being an X-Men film that it failed miserably. I don’t mind the old trope of “former hero is called back to action” plot, but at least make it interesting. Luckily, it looks like we might be getting a different type of origin given the little twist at the end of X-Men: Days of Future Past. The implications made by that film’s ending sound far better than the convoluted craziness that was Origins.
SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE:
What a strange film. It’s strange because in 1978 and 1980 we got two wonderful Superman films that were critically and commercially very successful. Even the much maligned Superman III had its moments and was financially successful. This film had a decent enough plot. Superman has taken it upon himself to rid the world of nuclear weapons. Meanwhile, Lex Luthor has escaped from prison and plans to create a Superman clone. It’s a pretty straight forward Superman plot. It had a lot of potential. Audiences loved the Kryptonian fights in Superman II so it makes sense to try to bring the films back to that action movie status. Also, with Lois out of the last film, most people were pretty excited to see Superman share screen time with the love of his life. SO WHAT HAPPENED? Oy . . . What didn’t happen? Between the film being a cash grab, to a terrible script, and a very, very small budget the movie was doomed from the get-go. Decent idea, but the pay off was absolutely awful even by late 80s standards. Which is a shame because as usual Christopher Reeve gave a fantastic performance. If he had a better script the film could have been so much more.
And maybe this could have happened . . . Sigh . . .
Despite the film being terrible at least it had a somewhat different plot than the rest of the films. It could have had some great story beats given that Superman takes it on himself to rid the world of nuclear weapons. Why would they just let him do that? It could have been something amazing . . . Instead . . . It wasn't . . . At all . . .
FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER:
What a waste. The first film, despite its obvious flaws, is actually a lot of fun. Fans may not be willing to admit it but it’s actually very much in keeping with the original Stan Lee/Jack Kirby comics from the 1960s. The second one took that “fun” and turned it into camp. The plot is that Sue Storm and Reed Richards are about to get married but the wedding is held up by the appearance of a mysterious Silver man on a flying Surfboard. He is revealed to be the herald of the “Destroyer” (never actually named Galactus in the film). The Four form an uneasy alliance with Dr. Doom and must stop him before the Earth is destroyed. It’s pretty high concept stuff and something that comes from Stan Lee’s original run. SO WHAT HAPPENED? Despite terrific special effects for the Silver Surfer, the film was just a hot mess. What’s made the more recent comic book films successful is the attempt to ground the science in some sort of reality. Stan Lee was infamous for not knowing a damn thing about science and just threw together words and phrases to give a hero an exciting origin (cosmic rays and gamma bombs for example). It worked for the 1960s when comic books were just crazy stories written by imaginative people. Nowadays there’s a certain level of scientific reality that people expect from their films. It doesn’t have to be perfect and even someone that failed high school chemistry can poke holes in it, but it still should have SOME basis in reality. That’s what helped make Nolan’s Dark Knight films so exciting. The film is such a waste. Doom is a terrible villain, Jessica Alba doesn't even try, and the special effects outside of the Surfer are terrible.
And where were you? Instead we got a cloud monster! I want my Galactus! . . . Maybe we'll get him in the reboot.
HULK:
One of three Marvel films to come out in 2003. Two of them were not very successful. This was one of them. However, it had a really interesting plot. When he was a child, Bruce Banner suffered a tragedy. He grew up with an adopted family with no memory of his past. He grows up to be a scientist, studying nano technology and gamma radiation (they heal people or something . . .). After an accidental exposure to the gamma radiation, Bruce discovers that when he gets angry, he turns into an enormous green rage monster. After this happens, his long lost father returns and reminds him of his tragic past. See? Sounds pretty awesome right? SO WHAT HAPPENED? Well . . . the movie is put together more like a tragic, somber, Academy Award baited film rather than a summer blockbuster. Director Ang Lee deliberately made the film look like a comic book with split panels but made it feel really depressing by making the movie super depressing. The whole father vs son, nature vs nurture aspect of the film is good but it's overshadowed by the fact that the rest of the movie is really boring. Plus, why bother changing Bruce's name? I think his name is Krenzler but his birth name is Banner. Weird . . .
Strangely there are a lot of movies out there with terrible plots that ended up being really great. Sometimes a movie just comes together in a great way. I don't like to be negative in regards to my beloved comic book movies, which is why I like to point out that these films actually started off Ok. But whatever the reason, they just didn't end up great. It's sad really. But to be fair without these films we never would have gotten the Incredible Hulk, the Avengers, and X-Men: Days of Future Past. And maybe I'll end up including the Fantastic Four reboot on that list soon. Stranger things have happened . . .
Till Next Time!
JJ - The Comic Junkie
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